Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Re-ranking the 16 super regional teams in the 2025 NCAA baseball tournament - NCAA.com

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Most Complete Stegosaur Skull Found in Spain Just Changed Everything We Thought About Dinosaurs - Indian Defence Review

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How does one succeed in life?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Hickman's just lost 95% of Arizona chickens to bird flu and says it will take 2 years to rebuild - KJZZ

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Which feels physically better for guys: vaginal sex or anal sex?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I see through liars

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

mRNA, once lauded as a scientific marvel, is now a government target - statnews.com

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why is my ping so high in 1 Roblox game but not the other ones? I am also not laggy in my own private server. What is happening?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why won't Canada build their own fighter jet?

I can read

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

In what ways is Bollywood becoming westernized?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why is going on a date today so much different than it was when I was young?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why cant I breathe when I sleep on my back, I can breathe if im on my side or stomach but I feel uncomfortable since either my neck is twisted or my back is in pain, im physically healthy and my surroundings are clean so whats the problem?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Ryan Reynolds’ ‘Animal Friends’ Delayed to 2026 at Warner Bros. - The Hollywood Reporter

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Could Trump’s ‘big beautiful bill’ kill the OFR and accidentally sabotage SOFR? - Financial Times

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How do you view men and women who cheat?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t